Wednesday, July 13, 2011

not finished!!!!

well DAMN!!!!!!!!!!! lol
i love ur sexy ass body.
but hell i get told no just for kissin u?!
wat do u want!!?
ur like semi scewin with my head lol
watever....
i just wanna have fun and crap.
yea i want u back now but i wouldnt take u back now,
even if u begged.
yea i love u and i guess thats why i would say no
(not finished)

Monday, May 30, 2011

i get it... :)

I UNDERSTAND WHY U DID THIS,
I ACCEPT IT NOW, AND
I UNDERSTAND WHY U HURT TOO,
I LOVE YOU ALWAYS TIMMY,
FOR THE RECORD....
I WILL NEVER HATE U,
I WILL ALWAYS MISS
UR KISSES,
UR I LOVES YOUS,
UR AMAZING TOUCH,
AND US.
I WILL ALWAYS BE HERE IF UR EVER READY TO TRY AGAIN
UR WORTH EVERYHTING IN LIFE...
I APPERCIATE EVERYTHING UVE DONE
UR SOOOO AMAZING, AND U NEVER FORGET IT...
REALLY U CANT CAUSE WERE STILL FRIENDS AND ILL REMIND U
ALLLLL THE TIME. :)
I LOVE YOU SEXY REXY...(still ur nickname)

Sunday, May 29, 2011

death in my head..... :O

my thoughts keep swirling around death...
like it would be the simpler choice without going through all this pain....
everynight...feeling like i keeps happening all over again,
i can barley sleep or eat....might as well be dead.
i wanted to hurt myself sooo many times since it happened...
but i cant bring myself all the way to do it...
i dont want that feeling but i keep having the thoughts of it...and these thoughts...
A. keep on living ur life and do great in school and accept it all and maybe u guys will be real close friends...
B. kill urself cause its the easy way and he is ur life and he will always have ur heart and not knowing if he will ever be urs again kills u already....
C. keep ur head up and try ur best to be ok with everything and be really close friends...
for one...u have my heart and ur just my everything...wether u understand that or not u are.
i dont think u ever understood how much i really do love u. two:i kno i can get through this but i want u two be my best friend and i want us to be so close and laugh at our memories....but i keep getting told that willl take along time....and i guess so since i dont kno how too put my feelings and wants away....idk anymore.....ugh.

shit!!!!! =''''( fuck everything!!!!

i have so much going through my head that its driving me crazy!!!
i dont kno wat to think or feel!!!!???
or wat to believe??!!!
how do i push away my feelings for u!?
all i want to do is cry and keep crying!!!
i dont even want to eat...and when i do i feel sick.
why cant this be a dream or why couldnt we have talked bout it before the desicion!!!
i fucking hate relationships now!!!
i told u that if i lost u i wouldnt date anyone else....and i meant it.
i dont want anyone else.
the sad part is...."if" we get another chance now i really will be soooo scared to loose u again!!!
why did u have to do this!! :(
i accept ur desicion....i think. im trying!!!!
of course i always am but it never seems like enough.
i told u i was afraid to loose u because everyone who means everything too me leaves me...
and u did. im sry i let it get between us....i would take it back in a heart beat.
a part of me thinks the space will be good.....maybe this can be the butterfly adage if its ment to be(which i hope it is...ur the first person i actually wanted to marry and start a life with) :(
the butterfly adage: "if u love something,let it go. if it returnsits urs, but if it doesnt it never was"
i guess deep down i never really felt like u would leave me...cause all i can think is how can u do this to me? and i never thought this would happen...
i guess i had too much hope on the inside...and i just didnt wanna show it.
all i want to do is roll up in a blanket with ur shirt on holding ur jacket and froggie and cry my eyes out and be left alone. i love u...i always will. ill always be here when ur ready...if u ever are. when u tell me to move on is when i will try....i guess.