i have so much going through my head that its driving me crazy!!!
i dont kno wat to think or feel!!!!???
or wat to believe??!!!
how do i push away my feelings for u!?
all i want to do is cry and keep crying!!!
i dont even want to eat...and when i do i feel sick.
why cant this be a dream or why couldnt we have talked bout it before the desicion!!!
i fucking hate relationships now!!!
i told u that if i lost u i wouldnt date anyone else....and i meant it.
i dont want anyone else.
the sad part is...."if" we get another chance now i really will be soooo scared to loose u again!!!
why did u have to do this!! :(
i accept ur desicion....i think. im trying!!!!
of course i always am but it never seems like enough.
i told u i was afraid to loose u because everyone who means everything too me leaves me...
and u did. im sry i let it get between us....i would take it back in a heart beat.
a part of me thinks the space will be good.....maybe this can be the butterfly adage if its ment to be(which i hope it is...ur the first person i actually wanted to marry and start a life with) :(
the butterfly adage: "if u love something,let it go. if it returnsits urs, but if it doesnt it never was"
i guess deep down i never really felt like u would leave me...cause all i can think is how can u do this to me? and i never thought this would happen...
i guess i had too much hope on the inside...and i just didnt wanna show it.
all i want to do is roll up in a blanket with ur shirt on holding ur jacket and froggie and cry my eyes out and be left alone. i love u...i always will. ill always be here when ur ready...if u ever are. when u tell me to move on is when i will try....i guess.
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