hahaha....idk?

BLAH!!!
u kno that feeling u get?
like when u feel completely happy,
like ur life is just absolutely amazing....
then that one little thought fucks it up?
yea...i hate that.
then, what about that one day
thats just awesome!!!
and when u go back home...
its just competely dies.
i hate that to...
why does it seem that pple arent allowed to be happy?
we ask our selfs that day in and day out.
we take the blame for others, because we think it will help.
we make our selfs not happy.
we keep the thoughts and bothers closer than what makes us happy.
and it seems like everytime things go good, it always seems to come crashing down.
pple put them selfs down more than what goes on around.
it will never be solved...
life is like a never ending puzzle...
u keep getting all the pieces but as soon as u find where a piece goes
the puzzles grows bigger. haha..
^_^

ONE OF MY WORST DREAMS!!! :'(

fuck..ok.
i had a dream.
idk why but me, timmy,and she were all hanging out.
blah...and everything was going pretty good.
but after a while she left and said goodbye to me and timmy.
and of course heather was some wat annoyed by she...
and when went to say i love u heather...the words that came out of his mouth
hurt me to the core.
he said i love u she!!
to fucking heather!!
ugh....its happened once before and im is so fucking scared
it will happen again..
i HATED THAT DREAM..NIGHTMARE...WTF EVER.
i hate that i had it...ugh.
i dont EVER want to have that again..or something similar!!!!

...ugh.

i feel like im missing something that is happening right in front of me.
im scared,im worryed....and i just dont want to loose u..
:(
i feel like were hiding stuff from each other.
i think its just cause im not near u as much...
blah.
my mom is a pain in the ass...
and im always so tired even more now.
stupid fucking nightmares and dog.
i hate almost crying every night!
i wish...

blah..shit fuck...

fuck...
so i have my stupid girlfriendness
and for some reason...jealously?
ugh....stupid girls.
why do u have to be sooo amazing!!! :)
lol blah...i swear im not complaining that ur amazing!!!
grrr...i dont wanna share u though!!! lol
i even told myself, i wouldnt be like this....damn it.
i dont even kno why i feel like this towards her...blah
............FUCK!!!
i dont think its gonna go away either...blah.
writing about it..isnt helping either......
shit...i dont even kno her and i already cant stand her...blah.....
ugh....im sry!!! :(

hehehe....selfish...blah. :P

this may sound selfish...but
i really only want u for myself most of the time lol
i love u....
i cant help but always wannabe with u
and kiss u...which i only got to TWICE today!!! :(
didnt like that result...
and i just love being with u!!!
grrr....im such a hog. lol
i need to see u...
hahaha...when dont i?

duh...dUH...DUH...

..blah.
stupid shity situations!!!
they suck ass!!
i was fucking scared outta my mind and crying..
ugh....i understand ur going through alot but mom its not my fault..
anyways..
school is ok to have back
somethin to do...
i get to see timmy everyday :D
and my friends...
my classes are ok...
i got friends in almost all my classes...
woo.......

.......

why does this feeling keep coming back? :(
i dont like it...
idk wat else to say..
i feel lost without u beside me....
i need u so much....
i love u so much....